REALLY IMPORTANT DISCLAIMERS AND PRIVACY INFORMATION:
Please Read Through ALL of this!
There may be a test at the end of this lecture!
The information provided on web site by Telecom Law Firm, P.C. (“TLF”) web site is for general interest only. The information on this site may not reflect current legal developments or recent court decisions. No content on this site should be relied upon or construed as legal advice.
This site contains Honest-to-Goodness attorney advertising and lots of other stuff like it, but is NOT intended to be attorney advertising in those states where such advertising is not allowed, permitted, encouraged, tolerated, etc.
That fact that you receive information from this web site does NOT create an attorney-client relationship between us.
Communications to or from Telecom Law Firm via this web site do NOT create an attorney-client relationship.
In fact, nothing creates and attorney-client relationship between you and Telecom Law Firm except a written agreement signed by both of us. It’s called a fee agreement. Want to see one? Just ask.
Do NOT, NOT, NOT, NOT send us confidential information via e-mail without first speaking with one of our attorneys in person or by telephone and obtaining his written authorization to do so. The privacy you protect by following these safety steps will be your own!
Each matter is factually unique. This is the hook for us to say that that your results or outcome may not be the same as in any of our (or your) prior matters. For more specific, comprehensive and up-to-date information, or for help with particular actual situations, you are advised to seek the legal opinion of an attorney before taking any action, or refraining from taking an action. Need a legal opinion from an attorney? We know some really good ones…just ask.
Telecom Law Firm’s office is in Los Angeles, California. Given how much we travel, we often muse that we also have an office of way-to0-many Southwest Airlines 737s (we like their new 737-800s, by the way). Naw, it’s not true…we don’t have a real office at 35,000 feet…it just feels that way…often.
The attorney responsible for this web site is Jonathan Louis Kramer. He’s the head of TLF PC, and he’s licensed as an Attorney and Counselor at Law in California and New Mexico. He has a bunch of FCC licenses and a State of California CSLB license, too, but that’s not relevant to this discussion.
Telecom Law Firm, P.C. is a professional corporation authorized by the California Secretary of State, and a law corporation authorized by the State Bar of California. We’ve got the papers to prove it, and we get to pay an extra fee each year to the State Bar to maintain the P.C. status. Oh Joy.
Although we do work with very qualified attorneys in various states, this web site is not intended to assist any attorney in this or any other firm seek professional employment in any state where the firm’s lawyers are not admitted to practice, nor in any state where this web site would not comply with applicable requirements concerning advertisements and solicitations.
Disclaimers for Normal People
Congratulations on being normal. This section is for you…
TLF specifically disclaims any responsibility for information, facts, assertions, lies, peanuts, popcorn, etc. on pages stored at and/or displayed from this site, and on World Wide Web pages which are linked to or from any page at this site, and pages which aren’t linked here, and pages that only exist in the minds of their web masters or web mistresses.
Moreover, we disclaim any responsibility for anything anyone ever told you growing up, including but not limited to your mother and father, teachers, and friends. Remember, the Net is just like TV and radio; if you’re of age and you don’t like what you see or hear, you need only switch it off or to another channel…yourself. No one will (or should) do that for you.
Our information is offered in order, and oft-times with jest, to provide you with a starting point for your further investigation, Shamus, and you must not rely upon any of it as legal advice unless we have first entered into an attorney-client relationship. Yeah, this is about the third time we’ve said that, but some people need to be hit over the head several times before they get it.
As we pesky lawyers say, ‘Each particular situation will be factually unique.’ ‘Your mileage may vary.’ ‘Void where prohibited.’ ‘May be cancelled or changed without notice.’
You should consult a real live attorney if you wish to determine your rights, wrongs and obligations under applicable (and sometimes even under inapplicable) law. Don’t know a good attorney? We know one or two…just call and ask.
Our Special Disclaimers for other Attorneys
This is the TLF special disclaimer notice to attorneys and the like, as this group certainly does not fall into the ‘normal people’ category.
Okay, here’s the deal. There’s a lot of really good information on this site, and some that’s utterly useless.
Huh?
Most of the good stuff is fairly straight forward and clear. Some of it is intended to be tongue-in-cheek. Our tongue; our cheek. Some of it is intended to be read as inside jokes. Some of it is rarely and barely read at all.
Sorry, but you’re not privy to the inside jokes unless you’re one of the insiders, or smart enough to know that you’re one of the butt of one of them. It’s important to know the difference, but after 3 or more years in law school, you should be smart enough to make an educated guess.
Just to liven up the site, there are pages here with … gasp! … really good information *and* inside jokes. In fact, typically greater than 3.718% of the pages here fall into that category. The question for you is whether the page you’d like to use falls into one category or the other. Of course, the simple answer is that any page you view at this site falls into one category or the other. (See, isn’t this good, clean lawyer-like fun?)
So what’s all this mean?
Just about everything you need for your opposing-counsel check or depo background prep is already here on the site. Go search…it’s there, and you’ll get paid by the hour to find it! It’s our little gift to you and the partners.
Finally, when you were admitted the bar, you didn’t give up your sense of humor did you? (Huh? You did? Oops… Sorry!) Anyway, laugh a bit. Your beloved (and/or cat and/or dog) will welcome it. It’ll absolutely scare the hell out of the partner, and isn’t that a good enough reason to enjoy humor and smile? We hope so!
Our Privacy Policy
This is the TLF Privacy Notice. What makes you think there is any privacy on the Internet?
Anyway, on to our show…
By using this site, you agree to this Privacy Policy of TLF. In fact, you not only bind yourself (and you may really enjoy doing that), but also your entire family, your employer, your gas station attendant (remember when they really existed?!), and your livestock to this policy. Now and forever.
Simple, eh?
TLF, which operates this site, recognizes the earth-shattering importance of protecting the privacy of personally identifiable information collected about visitors to our site. Frankly, we’re not sophisticated enough to automatically collect your personally identifiable information, such as your name, address or email address, Social Security Number (which apparently everyone has already had stolen, including Jonathan Kramer’s SSN), hopes, wishes, disappointments, etc. We need your help to do that.
Personally identifiable information about visitors, spies, snoops, etc. to our site is collected only when you knowingly and voluntarily submit it, or forget to block it (such as your static or dynamic I.P. address). Remember, only you can hit the ENTER key!
We may, and sometimes do, collect certain non-personal information to “clog the log” (ours; not yours). That non-personal data may include the identity of your Internet browser (huh? You didn’t know your browser had an identity?), the type of operating system you use (we won’t tell Bill G. if it’s “something else”), and the domain name or I.P. address of your Internet service provider or your DSL or your T1 or your tin-cans-and-string connection.
We may use such non-personal information for internal purposes, including but not limited to impressing our spouses, kids, dogs, etc. about how many visitors come to our site… Interestingly, exactly the same number of visitors who come to this site end up leaving this site. Go figure!
“We’d Like to Know A Little Bit about You for Our Files…”
In those instances when we do collect personally identifiable information, the following policies apply:
We’ll tell you when we are collecting personally identifiable information about you by asking for it.
If we ask for your name, address, phone number, email address, shoe size, etc., you can be pretty sure that that’s within the category of “personally identifiable information.” For example, we may ask to collect your personal information to snoop on you, how you use this site, whether you’re a member of any organization we support or oppose, etc.
Personally identifiable information that you provide can and may be used by us for other purposes. Such other uses and purposes may include, but not be limited to, telling your parents that you were visiting our web site after your bedtime.
TLF isn’t responsible for the privacy policies or practices (or lack thereof) of linked entities, opposing organizations, space aliens, other attorneys (and other attorneys who are also space aliens), etc.
TLF’s web site maintains virtually no more than the most basic safeguards–i.e., password protected databases and the like–to ensure the security, integrity and privacy of personally identifiable information submitted to our site. We periodically wonder if there are any real security measures that can occur in light of (or in spite of) current and new technologies. Your thoughts on this will be appreciated.
If you’re uncomfortable with our honesty here, we strongly encourage you to lie, cheat, and use plenty of false data when responding to our requests for your personal information. That way, if that personal information is ever disclosed, you’ll rest assured knowing that nothing of real value has been lost, and nothing of real value has been gained.
By the way, we do take lots of steps to carefully protect our client’s data and their secrets, but those data and secrets are not anywhere to be found on this web site or web server.
Cookies
Cookies are very tasty! We’re very fond of warm, gooey white chocolate chip cookies. You?
Actually, cookies are small snippets of computer code that the web server transfers to your computer so that your on line behavior, sign ins, accesses, etc. can be tracked by one more more web sites.
If you don’t want information about you collected using cookies (hey, why do they call ‘um cookies?), there is an obscure and difficult-to-follow procedure in most web browsers to permit you to deny the cookie feature. We dare you to find it. Even if you do figure out how to block cookies, lots of web sites will stop working for you. Perhaps they’re offended that you don’t like the flavor of their cookies? Snobs! But, why would anyone say, “No!” to a nice cookie?
TLF may or may not use cookies at this site; frankly, if cookies come from this site, its because we use WordPress for out platform. As an alternative to cookies, we like licking cake batter out of the bowl, even knowing how quickly that spreads germs and promotes food poisoning.
Okay, in reality, to the extent we use cookies, we use them to track your activities on this site. You leave the cookie trail… we’ll follow it (and you) around our site. We don’t use cookies to track your activities off of this site. We simply don’t know how to do that…yet. But we do know how to log the means by which you found your way to our site (for example, by using Google or Yahoo to search for us, then clicking on the links they provided).
By the way, have you erased your browser cookies recently? You should do so often. We do it every day, or every day that we remember to do it. We like Spybot and Malware Bytes for this task.
Links to Third Parties
TLF has established links from our site directly to sites operated by third parties. Why they party for the third time and we don’t is one of the great unanswered questions of our time.
Visit the third party sites at your own pace (and at your own risk). We’re not responsible for the content or practices of those linked web sites, or web sites operated by others that have linked to TLF.
Frankly, it’s hard enough being responsible for this web site.
If you decide to visit another site via a TLF link, you should read their privacy policy before snooping around their site to see if it’s any more truthful or expansive than our policy. We suspect it won’t be. You have been warned!
“But what if I don’t agree with all this stuff?”
OMG! If you do not agree to this full disclosure and privacy policy, please go away…quickly…before any more of your privacy evaporates before your eyes. LOL!
TLF reviews this disclosure privacy policy on a regular basis, not exceeding 1.24 years between reviews, and reserves the right, at our sole discretion and without prior notice to you (and your offspring, your dog, Harry Shearer, or anyone else) to add, modify, remove or color in any portions of this Policy at any time.
You should stop back to this page really, really, really often to see if we’ve snuck in anything new, or chopped out anything that’s vital.
If you want to write us about this Policy, please send snail mail to:
Telecom Law Firm, P.C.
Attention: “Privacy? Really? Department”
2001 S. Barrington Avenue, Suite 306
Los Angeles, California 90025
So, having read all of this so far, wouldn’t you agree that our privacy policy is one of the more honest ones you’ve read on the Internet? We think it is. Please, let us know if you agree or disagree. Even if you have no opinion on the subject, we’re open to your suggestions on how to make this page even more informative.
“Now I’m really Flummoxed! What can I do?”
Okay. I still don’t get it!? Now what?
Well, if you don’t understand any or all of the information on this page, please call or write to Mr. Kramer. Using simple words and short, declarative sentences, try and explain what you don’t understand. Mr. Kramer will try to explain it to you, as well as why it’s important to you, and to us, or only to your, or only to us. Remember, however, that he can only explain it to you…he can’t understand it for you!
For information on how to contact Mr. Kramer please click on the button below
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!